Face the World
by loveislouder94
Summary: "Her world is full of darkness and shadows and immoveable clouds and Seamus is a rainbow that promises something better will come, if only she's prepared to wait it out." / Seamus, Lavender and how they start to heal from the war. For Nina


**For Nina (lame, lame and lamer) - thank you for reviewing several of my pieces and for writing such enjoyable pieces yourself. I hope you enjoy this! **

For a long time, Lavender stays cooped up in her room at St. Mungo's, venturing out only when necessary, no further than the end of her ward.

She doesn't go back to Hogwarts to repeat her seventh year, even though many of her classmates do. She sees no point in an education, any more. She sees no point in trying to make herself look pretty (as if she'll ever be anything other than ugly ever again), and if she's honest with herself, she scarcely sees a point in life, when all that's left for her are the scars on her heart and on her skin.

Every day is a struggle, every moment is a reminder, and the first time she brings herself to look into a mirror, she's not sure who she hates more – Fenrir Greyback, or herself. She should've been faster, stronger, smarter, she should've been able to save herself. _But you weren't – you weren't strong or smart or fast, and now you're slow, stupid, weak and ugly._

The Healers check up on her regularly, they give her Potions for the pain, because apparently her wounds will hurt for a while, even after they've completely healed. The potions ease the aches on her skin, and while she is grateful for that, there is no potion in the world that could ease the ache in her heart, or quiet the demons in her mind.

In late May, a full length mirror is brought into her room, and Lavender notes that they must think her ready to confront the monster she has become. She's not. A single tear winds down her cheek as she examines the puckered skin of her right side. She lets out a jagged, broken scream, draws her damaged fist back and smashes the reflection of her face.

Her reflection is cracked and distorted and not quite whole, just like her, and she registers the pain emanating from her bloodied knuckles with a dull satisfaction, vowing never to look into a mirror again.

Hearing the noise, Healers rush in and find her crumpled on the floor, staring at her hand. She's not crying, but several more tears dangle at the bottom of her chin, and she's pale and trembling and obviously distressed.

Her parents initially visit daily when she wakes up, and she's told they'd been by her bedside around the clock while she remained unconscious. Their visits decrease when Lavender makes it clear she doesn't want company, though, and Lavender is glad – her company shouldn't be forced on anyone.

Time moves agonizingly slowly, yet somehow hours turn into days and days turn into weeks, and Lavender's existence narrows down to nothing except her ward, and the artificial view from her window, the closest thing to sunshine she thinks she'll ever see.

And then Seamus visits her, and it's like he brings the sunshine with him. Her world is full of darkness and shadows and immoveable clouds and Seamus is a rainbow that promises something better will come, if only she's prepared to wait it out.

"Hi Lav," he greets her uncertainly from the doorway.

Her eyes widen in shock when she sees him. "What are you doing here?" She sees him swallow as he takes in her face, her great, glaring flaws. "Go away! Get out! I don't want you here!"

The words are angry and full of rage and fear, and shame makes her shout them, as though pushing everyone away will somehow make the weight on her shoulders a little easier to bear. Besides, she deserves to remain alone, cloistered away with self-loathing her only company – who will ever love her like this?

He takes a deep breath and backs out of the room, blue eyes watching her intently, and as much as she wants to plead with him not to, her shame is stronger.

Ten minutes later, when he's relatively sure she's calmed down, he walks into the room again, and this time he doesn't give her a chance to throw him out.

"I don't care if you tell me to leave, because I won't, at least not until we've actually had a proper conversation. I heard you don't want visitors, so I didn't come before, and I'm sorry about that. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling, and I won't insult your intelligence by trying to guess. You don't have to talk about it, you don't have to talk about anything, if you don't want. I'll just sit here, okay?"

She doesn't say anything, so he drags a chair next to the bed where she's sitting with her knees drawn up to her chest and sits down.

He stays for two hours, and for the first he's mostly talking to himself, prattling on about how they're planning on re-starting the Quidditch World Cup next year, and when that topic is exhausted he tells her about Dean finding his family again, about Susan and Ernie _finally _getting together, about Hannah working at the Leaky Cauldron. He says the first things that pop into his head to fill the silence, to tell her without really telling her that despite what she might think, she's not alone.

During the second hour, it's more of a conversation – she's actually looking at him, a small smile hovers at the corners of her mouth, and every now and then she'll ask a question about something he says.

As he's leaving, he turns back towards her. "I'll see you the same time tomorrow?"

She gives a tiny, almost imperceptible nod, which he takes as affirmation, and from that point on he visits her every day. Sometimes he only stays for half an hour, but if he's got nothing planned, they'll spend the whole day together, and Lavender begins to look forward to the moment when she'll see him appear around the corner.

They never leave the hospital, and Lavender balks every time he mentions the possibility, ducking behind the curtain of her hair. It's a major hurdle in her recovery, and Seamus decides that something has to be done.

At first, they only go out when it's starting to get dark – there's less people around, and they won't have a clear view of her. Lavender walks with her head down, one hand clutching Seamus' and the other anxiously fisted at her side.

By the time December rolls around, the Healers decide she's ready to be discharged, whether she wants to be or not. Seamus is there to pick her up, grabbing her bags as she gives one last, sweeping glance to the ward that has become her sanctuary and her prison for the past few months.

"Come on, Lav," he says, "it's time to face the world again."

So she takes his outstretched hand and side-by-side they walk out of St. Mungo's and into a future that beckons with endless possibility. Lavender's a different person to who she was before, and she doesn't know who she'll be tomorrow, but one thing's for sure – she can't wait to find out.

**Written for:**

**The Hugs and Happiness Challenge - Nina  
The Wand Wood Competition - Aspen (write about a member of the DA)  
The HP Potions Competition - Draught of Peace  
The Greenhouses Competition - Ragweed (write about a Gryffindor)  
Comedies and Tragedies Competition - Comedy  
**


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